I am a late-blooming step-mom. I never had children of my own, and was so focused on my career that I didn't miss it. After my marriage of almost 30 years ended, I found myself madly in love with a man with two young sons...who have stolen my heart. We have a wonderful life together, and I am loving this chance to share my life with these special boys.

Let's back up just a little - you need some background!

My career as a coach and specialist in stress management began when I "crashed and burned" in a career I absolutely loved (construction management), and quit so I could learn how to find balance and power in my own life, and teach others how to do the same.

What I noticed as I became involved with the boys, is that I was beginning to fall into the same traps that caused me so much pain in my former career. The same habit of pouring myself so much into other people that I lost myself in the process was rearing its ugly head again.

That's when I realized that everything I have learned applies just as much to Moms as to the business leaders I usually coach...and the Mothers Creed was born:

To have the life I want, I will:

MODEL the behavior I want to see

Gandhi said it best when he said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” So if you want respect, respect. If you want understanding, understand. If you want happiness, be happy. And if you want your children to grow up to love and nurture themselves…

ORIENT my life around my values

Stress happens when you stray from your core values. The further you stray, the more stressful it is for you. Identify those values that are key to your happiness, learn to notice quickly when you are misaligned, and use a variety of tools and techniques to bring yourself back to center.

TAKE CARE of myself

When your needs are being met, it takes the pressure off of others to meet them, and life gets easier. Whether you need to be accepted, acknowledged, cared for, needed, safe, free, etc., honor that need and start getting it met so it stops driving all your actions and your very best self can emerge.

HELP OTHERS help ME

You don’t have to be a martyr, suffering and sacrificing yourself, to be an extraordinary wife and mother. In fact, giving yourself away until you are exhausted and depleted is not a badge of honor. It leads to unhappiness and poor health, and sends the wrong message to your children. We train people how to treat us, and this includes our family. Does yours need retraining? Start now and help them help you be the Mom you want to be.

ENERGIZE daily

Here are 10 ways you can energize yourself every day: You can build your self-care skills, your De-Stress NOWä skills, clarify your vision, and build communication and decision-making skills. And, you can let go of tolerations, attachments, resistance, taking things personally, and the need to be right. Choose one and focus on it for a week at a time, or choose a different one every day to explore. Either way is perfect – each is a major energizer and whatever attention you bring to it will make a positive difference.

REST when I am tired

Animals and kids rest when they are tired, naturally. Why don’t you? Even a few minutes can make a world of difference in the quality of your life, so make carving out time to rest, relax and rejuvenate a priority. And help others help you do it!

SAY IT so it can be heard

When you speak directly, with kindness, respect and a willingness to listen and understand, your message can get through. Thinking it isn’t saying it. Yelling it can’t be truly heard. Neither can blaming, shaming or justifying. Make your requests out loud – the people you love really do want to please you, but they aren’t mind-readers. And be sure to sing praises out loud and often, too. Both will deepen your connection – to yourself and to them.

My slide presentation was recently shared with a local MOPS group (Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers) and was very well received. I hope you find value in the concepts, and if I can help you apply them, I hope you will contact me. I always offer a complimentary consultation, so there is no risk to you - only the possibility of being healthier, happier and freer to be yourself!

Here are some things you can do:

• Opt-in to receive Circle of Peace, a free eNewsletter designed to energize and inspire, and offers practical tools you can use every day to make your world a better place. ($79 value)
• Register for "Suffering SuperMoms Seeking Support" coaching group to get the ongoing support you need to have a happy, healthy, balanced life while being a truly Super Mom. Less expensive than individual coaching, and you get to leverage the power of the group!
• Schedule a half-hour complimentary P.E.P. Talk™ and bring Power, Energy and Possibility to any personal or professional goal you want to focus on ($75 value). That's right - the first one's on me!
• Discover your Natural Advantage™ - learn how to focus on your innate instincts that let you work with the grain and design support structures that focus on your natural strengths. Fee includes consultation by Patty, a Certified Kolbe Consultant™. Schedule yours now.
• Hire Patty for personal coaching, to leverage your strengths and expand your possibilities. Bring clarity, strategy, focus and support to gain power and velocity in the industry you love.
• Bring Patty in to speak at your next meeting.

Patty Cook, Executive Coach and Late-Blooming Step-Mom