The Buddha said, “Everything changes, nothing remains without change.” If that is the case, why do we tend to resist change so strongly? We resist people, situations, and life's twists and turns, and it slows us down or stops us all together, creating unnecessary struggle and strife. Or, we react to similar situations in exactly the same way, time after time, and then are disappointed, angry and frustrated when the results turn out exactly the same.

When life throws you a curve, do you resist it? See if these thoughts sound familiar to you:

"I can't believe this is happening!"

"How could she/he...?"

"I hate this!"

"Why can't it just do what it's supposed to...?"

"I shouldn't have to...!"

"This is unbelievable!"

"I don't have time for this...!"

Just like water trying to squeeze through a kinked hose, resistance slows down your flow through life or stops it altogether, leaving behind a wake of stress, frustration and anxiety. In other words, you suffer. The quicker you can release your resistance and accept the challenge life has put in your path, the quicker and easier you can create a solution and get moving forward once more. “Easier said than done,” you say?

One of my clients, a successful attorney who is very easy to get along with, was puzzled and frustrated by her explosive relationship with her in-laws. She asked me, “How can I change the way I respond to people that trip my trigger? Before I know it, I’ve blown up again and it’s way too late!”  

When life trips your trigger, an automatic, reactive process begins that is as predictable as a macro on a computer. Keystroke after keystroke, it inevitably moves toward its predictable conclusion. You don't even have to think about it! Your response becomes a habit, and while some of these habitual responses serve you well, others do not. The good news is, having P.O.W.E.R. can become a habit, too.

Practice these simple steps to change from reaction to response to gain P.O.W.E.R. in a situation – any situation:

PAUSE –To respond instead of react does take some thought, but you must pause long enough to actually think if you want to interrupt the automatic response!

OBSERVE – What is the trigger for you, specifically, and what is your 'macro' reaction to it? It is only with awareness that you have the power to choose.

WONDER – What are the possibilities here? What could you say, and how could you act, that would be in alignment with what you want, who you are and what you value?

EVALUATE – Which possibility will produce the best result, not just for you, but for everyone involved? Imagine it in vivid detail, seeing it, and feeling it, as if it were already so.

RESPOND – Take the action that you imagined.

Practice identifying the very first step of your automatic response – the very first thought if you possibly can, because the earlier you interrupt the process, the better. Train yourself to take the first step – PAUSE – which will give you the space to take the next and the next, and before you know it you are bringing P.O.W.E.R. to life. You have the power to totally alter your experience of life because it is no longer just happening to you, you are creating it! From this place of awareness and intention, something new is available - what will you create?