A dedicated young golfer who wants to play and teach professionally, Brandon is focused on his goal and consistently does what it takes to get there. He’s one of the most committed young men I know – open, willing to look at things in new ways, and immediately integrates what he learns into his day-to-day experience.

He called at the scheduled time, angry and frustrated because he injured his shoulder and can’t train the way he wants to. He feels stupid because he pushed through the pain and did weight training anyway, making it worse, and is berating himself over it – a lot. He’s afraid of the impact this injury could have on his career, and reminded of a time two years ago when a similar shoulder injury threw him into despair over the possible implications on his future.

He’s planned to rest his shoulder and spend time fishing with a friend today, but his mood won’t let him enjoy himself – he’s too frustrated and angry to enjoy a 70 degree early spring day, out in the fresh air with a friend, catching fish or not, while taking in the sights, sounds and smells of a rare and beautiful February day.

Sound familiar? How many times have you been thrown for a loop by an unexpected turn of events until before you know it, it’s all you can think about and you find yourself thinking, “It all just went downhill from there.”

When something happens to you in life, it starts a spiral of emotion, and you have a choice as to which direction that spiral goes. In other words, you get to choose whether you will expand or contract as a result of what happens to you. For example, you can see from the story above that Brandon was on a downward spiral after he injured his shoulder. He just seemed to feel worse and worse, more and more negative about it until all he could see was his injury and how it could ruin his chances at having the career he’s always dreamed of. With awareness and practice, however, he is learning to take the upward spiral, and here are two of the tools he’s using to get there that might help you the next time life throws you a curve:

Balance critical thinking with gratitude and appreciation – What you focus on expands. What you think about magically attracts similar thoughts, making the thought even stronger, attracting even more similar thoughts until that thought dominates, colors and even shapes your experience. It’s crucial for any professional to think critically, asking questions like, “How can this be improved?” or “What could I do to get a better result?” or even, “What’s next?”

The problem lies in having your focus be entirely on critical thinking. All strengths are a double-edged sword, serving you well yet becoming a weakness when locked in the on position. It is just as crucial to stop and appreciate all that is going well and celebrate your successes large and small – not just so life stays in balance, but because it makes life a lot more fun.

Each heartfelt appreciation Brandon shared with me allowed him take one more step back from his perspective of, “My life is my shoulder,” until he reached the point where his perspective became, “My life is fantastic and I have a sore shoulder.” Which perspective do you think gives him more power to deal with the situation?

Keep the vision – lose the attachment – You only have to see the Grand Canyon to appreciate the power of water, or have a leak in your roof to understand water’s ability to get around obstacles and keep on flowing. A battering ram is powerful, too, but there’s only one way through and if that way is thwarted, you won’t get the results you want.

Brandon was approaching his injury from the battering ram model – his workout schedule said it was time to work his shoulders so he pushed through the pain, to honor the commitment to his vision of being physically strong and fit.

True success comes from keeping your eye on the prize while being fluid in your approach to reaching it, keeping balance between having a plan and being flexible. Brandon learned that when something is feeling forced, it’s time to step back and take another look. His results will dramatically improve as he learns to keep the vision and let go of his attachment to how he gets there. As he adopts the model of water, asking himself, “How can I still work toward my fitness goals while my shoulder heals?” he’s allowing his creativity to kick in and offer many other options he can explore.

Life happens. And it’s great news indeed to know that you can choose how it will impact you. In my life, even the worst that has happened has yielded miraculous things – life lessons I never would have learned, connections I never would have made, opportunities I never would have seen, and a much, much deeper gratitude for all that I have. As a result, I choose to live by Marie Osmond’s philosophy: “If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.” The choice is yours. What will it be?